the gift you will never want to stop opening-- my testimony
This is how I identified my life-style as a Christian. I had done the research (read the bible), knew why I needed Jesus, knew the outs and ins, and had received the gift of Christ. The only problem was that I had received the gift but failed to open it.
I grew up in a Christ-centered home—going to church on Sundays, Wednesdays, and church camp in the summers. My whole life I have loved the Lord and believed in my whole heart that he died on the cross to save me from my sins— I had a reputation of the goody-good Jesus lover and I LOVED IT. I knew how a Christian should act. I knew the words to say and the prayers to say. I loved that that’s how people saw me. I loved that by knowing me people thought about the Lord because I loved the Lord.
I had failed to, however, make Jesus the Lord of my life. I was living for myself. I had a drive to be the best I could be and make sure everyone knew it. I put myself up on a throne instead of Jesus.
It wasn’t until a girl named Sarah sat me down and explained Romans 6:23 to me, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” She explained the separation between man and God because of sin. She emphasized how because we sin we earn death—we earn that loss of relationship. But then she told me that God has so generously given us a gift of eternal life through Christ Jesus. And while yes, I thought I knew what this meant, she dug a little deeper. When determining on a scale from 0-100% how sure I was that I was going to heaven I could only come up with 70%. And when asked what I would say to Jesus when he said “Why do you deserve to be let into heaven?” I could only answer with because I had done good works and served/loved others well. It was later explained to me that Jesus died for all 100% of our sins. He did not undergo pain and torture, nailed to a cross to only die for 70% or 95% or 20% of our sins but all 100% of them.
This alluded back to the gift under the tree. We have the option to open it or to not open it. God is holding out his hands pursuing us, giving us a gift of Jesus Christ and we can either take it or leave it. When you take a gift you cannot just open 70% of the gift. YOU OPEN THE 100%. With Jesus you either get 100% or you choose to walk away with 0%. But who, when knowing what this gift entails would choose to walk away?
Following this mind-blowing gift analogy, I was asked if I had turned and trusted or if that was something I wanted to do. I was honestly super confused because I always thought I had. But I knew as much as I believed in Jesus and knew he was the truth that I had failed to make him the Lord of my life. It was time for me to get off my throne and kneel before the throne of Jesus. It was time for me to turn away from my identity in myself, my identity in success, and put my identity into Jesus. I decided to not just have a faith but to be active in my faith. I made a decision to follow Jesus every day. Just like he tells us in Luke 9:23.
My identity in Jesus is so much more amazing than my identity in myself. I no longer have that anxiety weighing me down to uphold the standards of the world. I no longer have to worry about what others think of me because I know I am a so loved. I have a drive and desire to know who Jesus is fully. I want to follow Him. I want people to see the Holy Spirit radiating and working through me.
Jesus’ last words said “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of age.” [Matthew 28:19-20]. I felt called. I am called. My purpose on this earth is to show others this good gift. To tell them about the Gospel. I am going shopping for people to bring with me so we can dance together in Heaven—are you in? Are you ready to open your gift or are you just gonna let it sit there?
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